State of mind

I dont know if I would be able to write the real state of my mind., For all these days I have been thinking that I must write what i feel to write about. This time, it is different, I want to write what I am wanting to write. The state of my mind. But however, I find there is a complete charismatic feeling when a person tends to explain what is going on in his/her mind.

To begin with, many things have pre-occupied. Some tending to cause an eternal battle within me, some tending to cause a sense of reliability and dependance, while others tend to cause a void in me. Some thoughts pull me back into my past, while others bring me back to reality. Like the rope in tug of war, I am being swung either ways every now and then.

Like a typical piscean, I guess, I was finding solace in my dream world. Finding joy in my own little accomplishments, happiness and fun. I have always wanted to know things and understand them. But not until late when i started in believing, Their was drastic change in things around me, I realised. Do not believe in beilieving. I adopted and adapted myself to new approach. I began to know and knowing is totally different dimension. It starts from doubt, the moment you believe in something, you have stopped inquiring, belief is the most poisonous thing to destroy human intelligence! And now i am back to where I belong and found happiness in the most strangest ways I could possible think of.

At times my mind complained I was alone. But I realised that being alone I was spending time with myself and did not require world to play a part in it. When I began to feel lonely, I found joy in the way things are. The roses bloom so beautifully because they are not trying to become lotuses. And the lotuses bloom so beautifully because they have not heard the legends about other flowers. Everything in nature goes so beautifully in accord, because nobody is trying to compete with anybody, nobody is trying to become anybody else. Everything is the way it is. This thought and the observation has now made me a much better person than I used to be.

As I have always told, so will I this time too. "Just be yourself and remember you cannot be anything else, whatsoever you do, All effort is futile. "